Bolivia

As can be seen from the above images Bolivia is a diverse, scenic and often tranquil place. However it is also a place of EXTREME DANGER, a fact to which the local people often seem bolivious.
Here follows a Photographic Guide to the 12 Cardinal Dangers an unwary foreigner may encounter in Bolivia.

1. Crocodiles
They'll eat you up

2. Practical Jokes
The old Chef's-Diarrhoea-On-The-Pancake trick.

3. Huuuuuge bitches. Especially when they have you in the palm of their hand.

4. Public Transport
No terrain is impassable for a Bolivian bus

5. Dusk
Picturesque sunrises and sunsets lure the foreigner into standing still and taking photos. This leaves him vulnerable to attack by huge jungle mosquitoes which are known to transmit Yellow Fever, Down's Syndrome and The Palsy.

6. Anacondas

7. Dinosaurs

8. Deep Shafts

9. Food Poisoning
Hygiene is poor in Bolivian kitchens.

10. Pirañhas
Sometimes you eat the fish, and sometimes the fish eats you.

11. Mustard Blowouts
The incredible blandness of Bolivian cuisine often drives the foreigner to finish a meal with large quantities of straight sauces and condiments.

12. Hand-Eating Monkeys
It is uncommon to see locals with a full complement of digits due to the increasing frequency of attacks such as this one.

Peru

I have a keen eye, and have Perused the following:



1. A Lazy Peruvian




2. A dead animal.

The Year 3 kids were never told the fate of their beloved classroom pet, Mr Gonzales the Guinea Pig.



3. A feeding frenzy. This one looks kinda like a hog. Squeal like a hawg for me boy!

4. A canyon. The scenery was gorge-ous.

5. A serious woman in a black skivvy feeding a shaven dog in a tartan waistcoat

6. Women fixing some eggs

7. Donkey-Love

8. A Condor

9. Don´t be sekirli, just be hairli!

10. ???

11 . A Waterous Formation

12. Another dead animal. As we walked through a small Andean village, this mountain dwelling child was eager to present to us her favourite toy - a dead two toed sloth. Unable to fulfil his daughters birthday wish for a shiny red bicycle, the girl´s father captured and killed the sloth and then carefully replaced its innards with straw.

Eastern Europe

BOSNIA

Bridges and Bulletholes

Fig 1.1

Fig 1.2

CROW-ASIA

The natives of CrowAsia are of a more robust physique than those of most other Asian nations. (See Fig 1.4)

Fig 1.3 Bathing

Fig 1.4: The Captain and Tonchi

Captain: I love you.

Tonchi: What did you say?

Captain: You heard me.

Tonchi: -silence- (awkward)

Captain: We´ve worked together for 8 years, side by side. What do you think happens to two people who spend so much time together??

Tonchi: Uh.... Sometimes they become friends?

Captain: I know you feel it too.

Tonchi: But we´re both men! Hairy men with rough palms and sweaty thick necks!

Captain: Let´s go to bed.

Tonchi: Your breath stinks like you ate a shit sandwich.

Captain: I did.

TURKEY

Fig 1.5: Turkey

The turkey is a bird, similar to the chicken but much larger and prettier. It is one of only two creatures known to use the ¨Reverse Chinaman¨ sex position (the other being the Chinaman).

The average Turkish family gobbles down over 100kg of turkey meat per year. Most traditional Turkish garments are made of turkey feathers skilfully woven together, then soaked and pressed to soften the fabric.

Fig 1.6 Bathing

Fig 1.7: Woman in a boat

Fig 1.8: Rock Hard.

Fig 1.9: Full of hot air

¨Full of hot air¨ is an expression used to disparage a Jive-Talker, or someone with a tendency to pass flatus excessively. It also applies to hot-air balloons (HAB´s). The HAB has made several colorful appearances in the history books. The ancient Egyptians invented the HAB and used it to export alcoholic beverages to the Australian Aborigines, and the Wizard of Oz used the HAB to make his famous escape.